If you feel dissatisfied with your sex life and you have hidden desires, you should not keep silent but talk frankly with your partner. Anal sex and anal play are very often perceived as something indecent, but this is not true at all. We will give you some tips on how to have a proper conversation with your partner about your secret desires, if you do not say it, then how can s/he understand what you want.
Choose the right time and place
Do not present anal play as a surprise, otherwise the unexpected effect may frighten your partner and s/he will simply escape from the house. It is possible that your partner has not thought at all about such entertainment or s/he already had a not very pleasant experience of anal penetration. Therefore, it is best to start a conversation about anal pleasures when you are not busy having sex, as excessive excitement and sexual energy will prevent a calm frank conversation.
Start with open-ended questions
Find out if your partner has had anal experience, and if s/he would like to experience it again. You can ask this as follows: "I read on the Internet about anal play, have you tried it? Would you like to?" Or, "I really want to try something new. How would you like it if we tried anal play?" Such phrases do not put pressure on your partner, but only voice your desires. Talk gently and gradually, do not pressure your partner under any circumstances.
Start the game as gently as possible
You can start the game with the smallest penetrations, for example, with a finger, and as the desire increases, move on to more decisive actions. If your partner does not reveal desire the first time, do not pressure him/her and do not be offended, take a pause and let your partner think about it. Tell him/her that you will wait until s/he is ready. Anal pleasures are good only when both partners feel it and are as relaxed as possible.
Share your knowledge and experience
One of the reasons for refusal is ignorance of the topic, so offer your partner to read articles on the subject, show useful Internet resources, learn about sex toys for beginners. Show your partner that you are serious about the issue and have studied everything thoroughly. The partner will gain confidence in you, seeing that you are well versed and fully trust you. A woman can tell her man about the benefits of prostate massage, which the anal plugs do very effectively.
Try to allay your partner's fears and concerns
If you receive a strong rejection from your partner, don't be offended or put pressure on your partner. If you have a trusting relationship, try to find out exactly what your partner's fears are. They may have had a bad experience, try to find out what went wrong and offer suggestions for how to fix it.
Tell your partner about anal lubricants, which can have not only a relaxing but also a pain-relieving effect. If your partner is concerned about hygiene, tell him how to properly prepare for anal play, tell him/her about anal showers. Patience and trust will do the trick, and we hope you'll hear "Yes".
Set clear boundaries and preferences
Once you've obtained a consent, find out exactly what your partner is willing to do. Agree at once what your partner wants to try and what s/he is not ready for yet. Don't be shy and tell your partner what feelings you personally want to experience and what sexual caresses you want to try. The more of these conversations you have, the more likely it is that you will be able to give each other pleasure in anal play and will want to do it over and over again.
